Why men date other marrieds?
Chat about a loaded issue that no one wants to chat about, that’s it. Amusing thing, affairs have been going on since old ages. Extramarital affairs can be filled with problems, cause despair, and other troubles. Plus you have to wrap your brain around all the other issues, there’s that truth and sincerety matter, finances, age difference, spiritual education, remorse, and on and on. I expect there will be some strong opinions about some of this.
For the intention of this article I will define an affair as a long term, maybe decades long relationship of a sexual nature between two people of whom one or both are married to other persons, dating for married.
Why do women have extramarital affairs? There are as many answers as there are seek an extramarital affair. I think mainly though it is just the human condition, the need for love, belonging, to be wanted and cared for, the caring for others and wanting to be loved and loved. Here are a few explanations I have run across.
Physically we as humans are all sexual creatures. Nature has us set up to reproduce, to have sex. Sex is pleasant and exciting, and sex makes us escape the world for a short period of time. This excitement exists for whatever amount of time we are able to keep the adrenalin levels high enough. Somebody are able to turn the craving on and off, some are good at controlling it and others are so-so at best. But we all have it, young and mature, able bodied and not so able. It is the Human condition. For some of us it is the sex act itself that drives us. For some of us it is the excitement of the hunt. For some of us it is the seduction, for some it is the love for another person, for some it is the longing to be appreciatedloved, for some it is the entire romance thing. These desires and yearnings can be so strong they overcome the taboos society has erected against married dating. For many people the yearnings will defeat their fears and make them risk the wrath of not only their relatives, but the public as well. So why, what is the mechanism?
Sex Addicts, maybe some of us are. Sex is extremely good, better then drugs, a natural high. If you are in this group of biologically obsessed sex addicts and can find away to have an affair and not harm your relatives or anyone else? You would need to lessen the jeopardy you are taking. If you have the feeling that a good affair is one that is beneficial to all, then good luck.
No love at home, or no romance. I suppose this is the biggest cluster, colossal truly. There are many couples whose marital relationships is over, except they are comfortable in the way they live, and upsetting the extended families is not on their list of things they wish to do. You love your spouse but there is no romance. Also there are the kids to look after. Your funds are so tangled. You need the medical insurance, and so on. There are a lot of reasons to be as a family besides love and sex.
Bodily reasons, there are some people who can not have sex. They have physical reasons that prevent them implementing the sex act, at least not with their othere half. An extra-marital affair at times solves the difficulty while keeping the marriage intact.
Ignoring, sadly this is a frequent groung I fear. One or the other, frequently the husband is sexually neglecting his female for a large humber of reasons. As a man I truly appreciate you guys neglecting your wives and making them obtainable to us men of romance, making them “hot milfs” But I still think it is despicable that you are neglectful. Also there is the spouse who is neglectful until the wife or husband has an affair, then they condemn them for doing so, when they where the catalyst. Those who neglect, then condemn, are not just neglectful, but evil.
Something is just missing in the marriage, I can not put my finger on it, but its not there. Perhaps its romance that is missing, maybe it is a shortage of love, maybe compassion is gone, maybe it is the intimacy, could be neglect. Maybe we have just grown distantly, our ordinary concerns diverged. Could be it is that what I want, and what I want to do the rest of my life, is contradictory of what you want. Maybe I simply don’t know what I want from the marriage anymore. Maybe, just maybe I miss that feeling that when I am with you, it just feels right.
The number one reason people give is, they search for the passion that is missing and so very much longed for.
There are other reasons, the feeling of power, to run away, for economic gain, for retribution and so on. I am sure there are more reasons why people have affairs then these. I only stop because if this gets too long no one will read it.